Helping Someone with Breast Cancer - Emotional Support

When someone close to you is
diagnosed with breast cancer,
it affects you too.

Breast cancer is a very personal disease. There are many different variations of breast cancer and women handle the stress of fighting this disease very differently. With that said, those of us on the outside want to help, but may feel helpless.

Family, friends, and colleagues can be a great source of support. Whether that support is emotional or practical (or both), it is important to know that for many women it is difficult to ask for help. Asking open-ended questions like "What can I do for you?" or "How can I help?" or "What do you need?" may leave you with little or no information. Think about what would help you if you were in her shoes and make specific suggestions.

Let's focus on emotional support first. When someone close to you is diagnosed, it affects you too. It is okay to feel your feelings...fear, anger, sadness, etc. You may feel confused...What should I say? What does all of this really mean? What should I do for her?

Here are some tips on providing emotional support:

1. Just be there. She is going through many emotions as well as dealing with the emotions of those around her. She may need you to listen to her, cry with her, laugh with her, or just be there when no words are needed.

2. Let her know that you care about her. 

3. Contact her regularly by phone, text or email. Be cognizant about how she prefers to communicate. For example, talking on the phone may wear her out.

4. Visit her. Don't assume she does or does not want visitors...ask if you can come over and give her a day and time. Do not visit with children unless you ask first and never visit if you are sick.

5. If you are available, be available for her. Ask if she would like you to go with her to medical appointments or to chemotherapy. It is crucial to have a second set of ears at appointments and you can help her pass the time during her chemo sessions.

What other ways can you provide emotional support for a friend diagnosed with breast cancer?

The Irony of the Shutdown

While we have certain groups who claim to run our country while they actually have to take a "time-out" because they cannot play nice in the sand box, we have people who think beyond themselves right here in our community who are facilitating a program to women FREE screening mammograms during the month of October for those who qualify. Call Michelle's Place. Don't wait for the those who cannot figure out how to work together...do not put your life in their hands. Please spread the word to those without insurance.
Hmmm...I bet those involved in the shutdown have insurance.

Your Breast Cancer Awareness

I haven't written in a while and sometimes I wonder, am I too close to Michelle's Place Breast Cancer Resource Center to be writing this blog? Not too close to the day-to-day operations but too close to the reason we were started. I will write another day on why it is okay for the people close to the patient to feel these feelings that we don't feel comfortable admitting (unfairness, anger, etc.) because I was that person. But today, I want to talk about why you should donate your hard-earned dollars to Michelle's Place as you sit and try to find focus through October-induced pink fog.

Our Executive Director, Kim Goodnough, gave a poignant speech, at our 12th Annual Celebration of Life Golf Tournament, this past Friday. Kim took a moment after all of the raffle tickets were purchased and there were no more chances for the participants to spend money. She was strictly taking the opportunity to share tough information with a group of people supporting our organization. I am going to do my best to reiterate what Kim shared (and I will probably add to it because I just can't help myself). We lost 4 clients this week. We are not here to save lives. We are here to bring comfort to women fighting the battle for their lives. We will not find the cure for cancer. We are helping the women who live in your neighborhood and are raising children while going through breast cancer treatment. Your sisters, your friends, your aunts, your mothers, your daughters, your co-workers. One of the four we lost this week was Candy Guitterez. Candy was one of our Self Help Group Facilitators and she leaves behind a family and her youngest is six years old. This is what we do. Bring comfort, support, whatever we can to help these women get through their days in the best way possible. And we educate women on getting mammograms, ultrasounds, diagnostics so they catch breast cancer early and don't have to get to where Candy and others have been. It is not pretty, pink-filled days that the marketers make it look like. Women walk into our office scared and we give them understanding, hugs, love and information. Services and support come next. No woman should have to go this alone.

Breast Cancer Awareness Month, October, Pink Ribbons, Hope. It has a place. We celebrate too. There is plenty to celebrate. But when faced with a choice on where to spend your dollars, we hope you consider where the funds are invested. Michelle's Place invests in our community. Helping women and their families right here in Temecula Valley. If you choose to support us, you can make a one-time donation online or choose to be part of our Wings of Hope program where you can choose to donate monthly automatically as low as $10.

Every dollar counts. Make yours count. Thank you.

Amy Watson
amy@michellesplace.org

Farewell October

Happy Halloween! Even though it is October 31st, please do not let this be the last day of Breast Cancer Awareness Month...breast cancer awareness is a year round activity! Take what you have learned and continue to share with those around you.

What can you do? Well, we received support from young and old this month. Soccer players sold pink socks, football players sold pink items, elementary school children collected coins. Children can participate all year too...my kids have a charity bank at home and put part of their allowance in there each week.

It doesn't end there. Have you considered the children who's moms are going through treatment and their families are struggling financially? We have and our Pink Ribbon Assistance program provides financial support and at holiday time, we provide a Christmas party complete with the man in red and presents for kids. In August, we have a Party in the Park and provide the kids with backpacks full of school supplies to take that burden off of the parents.

We cannot thank our community enough for their involvement. Something as simple but as profound as our Go Pink! program really makes a statement as you drive through town. Local business sell our pink ribbons for $1 and display them. All proceeds go to us, Michelle's Place Breast Cancer Resource Center, and the displays are beautiful and such a vision of support!

So much more went on this month and appreciate each and every action that everyone took to promote awareness this month because out of it came education. We were able to provide more than 80 free screening mammograms and we provided support to over 100 women diagnosed with breast cancer this month. That is what we are all about. Helping women get what they need and educating the community.

And I will close with a message from our Executive Director, Kim Goodnough:

October is leaving me speechless

I am very rarely at a loss for words. Just ask my husband, my father, my dear in-laws, my children, my friends. I want you all to know that I have not been neglecting this blog. I literally have not found words profound enough to express what I have been feeling over the last couple of months.  We start preparing for October months in advance so I have been in the zone for a while.

October is an especially busy (understatement of the year) for Michelle's Place and we do remind everyone that every month is Breast Cancer Awareness Month for us. Due to marketing and the pink revolution, we will never win the battle to even out the activities across the months so our staff, board and volunteers dive in head first and do not come up for air until the beginning of the fourth week of October. I am so proud to be associated with these people...their passion, support and dedication is beyond measure.

Today our Executive Director, Kim Goodnough, published her weekly message in the Michelle's Place weekly e-newsletter and I finally became inspired. Not inspired enough to write my own words, but inspired to share hers. Without further ado, here is a message from our Executive Director:


It is so important that we are reminded of the work MP does and how much it means to so many.  I am so proud to be part of this team.  When I was walking in the event yesterday (Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure) I felt emotionally overwhelmed a little as I looked around.  I think everyone feels that way when they participate in that event.  But, for me it was a little different this year.  It was a very introspective day. This is my 11th year.  It's so cool to see so many "Team Michelle's Place" shirts everywhere.  We started the walk with Paul who lost his wife this year and he comes to MP to feel part of her and share with us their love story, and as we crossed the starting line the announcer yelled out "GO team Michelle's Place, we love Michelle's Place", my heart swelled with pride.  And as I read all the names of those lost, loved and remembered on the backs of participants, I thought, we lost 4 women this week at MP.  And then, as we neared the finish line (we cheated) part of the Hawks soccer team ran past us in their pink socks that they sold to raise funds for Michelle's Place.  So MANY people are part of this amazing journey.  All of us, each one of us, makes an impact.  We are a support system for those who have lost loved ones, direction for those recently diagnosed, we provide hope and inspiration for young people and we carry on a legacy that I think Michelle would be proud of.  Thank you all for what you do.  It is awe-inspiring and so heart-warming.  I am blessed to be part of it.

Thank you, Kim. Michelle is not only proud, she is smiling and cheering you, and all of us, on.

Somewhere Over the Rainbow

Just a quick post from my family vacation here on The Big Island of Hawaii ...
I LOVE Hawaii.
I love its beauty, history, culture and people. I especially love the sense of community you find everywhere you go. The spirit of Aloha and respect for faith, family and the land are values we get to experience simultaneously firsthand in the islands.
I am posting a photo of our 3 children who never got to meet their Aunt Michelle, the lady behind Michelle's Place, because we lost her way too early to breast cancer. Now her spirit helps women and their families as they battle breast cancer. 
Bill & Marilyn Watson, my children's grandparents and Michelle's parents, are also in the photo. They founded Michelle's Place during a time when they could have easily succumbed to the grief of losing their youngest daughter at 26 years old.
The other gentleman is my children's other grandfather, Carl Grassi, Jr., my dad. We lost my mom less than four months ago to MDS turned Leukemia brought on by chemotherapy from breast cancer.  I am so glad he joined us for this vacation.  He has been through so much for the past several years.
I am so glad they all found a rainbow together...they are my pot of gold.
Aloha.
Learn more about Michelle's Place at www.michellesplace.org

Recipe: Delectable Onion Dip

At Michelle's Place, we schedule Educational Seminars throughout the year that are open to all and FREE. If you are local to the Temecula area (in California), watch our calendar of events. If not, we have an online video series of Educational Seminars for everyone.

Is there a better time for eating fresh food grown locally, even from your own garden, than summer? With the 4th of July just 2 days away, I have a delectable Onion Dip recipe with you that Tina and Shari from Crows Pass Farm shared with us at Michelle's Place. We were licking the sample cups clean!

Note: I know not everyone has access to Temecula Cane Onions so I tried green onions and this was tasty too!

Onion Dip
1 Cup Non-fat, Plain Greek style yogurt
1 bunch "Temecula Cane Onion"
½ Lemon
Salt to taste
Pepper (Regular or I like to use the smoked pepper from Old Town Spice Merchant)


Cut onions and sauté until soft and beginning to carmelize.
Juice the lemon and finely chop the lemon peel, add chopped lemon peel to the onions to cook a little.
Season with salt to taste.
Take off heat and let cool.
Put yogurt into a bowl; add juice of  ½ lemon, the cooked onions and lemon peel.
Pepper to taste.
You can also add some fresh chopped onions to add more flavor.
This recipe is flexible so adjust to your taste!

Happy 4th of July and Happy Birthday, America!!

Nutrition: The Nuts & Bolts of Eating Fresh Part 2

Hopefully since my last post, you have had a chance to integrate some new "Eating Fresh" habits into your life that are lasting. I find it so easy to do at this time of year as the weather gets warmer.

Now I want to dig deeper (ha, pun intended) into what can affect the nutritional value of your food. Since our stomachs have limited space, we want to put the most nutrient-dense food in our mouths, right? The first thing to consider is the growing conditions. Now, I know what you are thinking..."Seriously? I am standing there buying my veggies. How can I possibly know about the dirt it is was grown in."  And I am saying yes, you can can get to know your farmer. The soil can greatly impact the nutritional value of your food - it needs to be prepared and maintained to provide the highest nutrients to the soil-grown food.  Think about us...we need vitamins and minerals to keep our bodies in good working order to be able to fight off disease. Plants need nutrients to be able to fight off predators and disease and they get the nutrients from the soil. Then they pass the nutrients to us when we eat them.

The next thing to consider is plant variety. This one blew me away when Tina from Crows Pass Farm came to Michelle's Place and explained it using strawberries. Who hasn't ooooh'd and aaaaahhh'd over a ginormous strawberry? Well, I won't be doing that anymore after learning from a real farmer. The plants that produce fewer, smaller, brightly colored fruits and veggies have higher nutritional value (and they taste WAY better!). Period. End of Story.

Now for storage...this is complex because storage not only has a huge impact on nutritional value but there are many different types of storage to consider (dried, stored, frozen, canned). If you want the highest nutritional value possible, go for local-grown fresh fruits and vegetables. Once the food is picked, the nutritional values start declining rapidly so eat and pick is best.

There is a lot of debate centered around raw food vs. cooked food. The link provided has good  information about this topic.

The way you choose to cook your food will also play a big part in how your food retains its nutritional value. Lightly cooking your organic fruits and vegetables can not only retain but increase antioxidant and nutritional values.


I did not make all of this up...my source is healthy-food-site.com

Bon appetit!

 

Nutrition: The Nuts & Bolts of Eating Fresh Part 1

Shari (left) and Tina (right) from Crows Pass Farm at Michelle's Place.

At Michelle's Place, we are fortunate to be located in Temecula, California, where we have local farms (and wineries, but this post is not about the benefits of red wine!) that provide local-grown produce year-round. Tina and Shari from Crows Pass Farm delivered another Educational Seminar chock full of information a few weeks ago and I want to share some of what I learned with you in a series of blog posts.

Why eat fresh, or even (gasp!) organic? 
Essentially, you want to get back to basics. Basic, natural ingredients. Avoid processed foods. Insert more fruits and vegetables into your diet - 5 servings a day are recommended but I have read that if you are at risk because of family history, increase that to 8-10. "More is better" is appropriate here!

Organic vs. non-organic is a decision you will have to come to your own but this statistic says it all for me. "According to estimates by the Environmental Working Group -- the agency that developed the "Dirty Dozen" list -- you can reduce your pesticide exposure by 80 percent simply by choosing organic versions of these 12 fruits and vegetables:

• peaches
• apples
• sweet bell peppers 
• celery
• nectarines
• strawberries
• cherries
• kale
• lettuce
• imported grapes
• carrots 
• pears." (Source: CBS News) 

The Clean 15 are also good to know since you do not have to be as strict when it comes to buying organic which can save you money. The Clean 15 list is made up of:

• Onions
• Sweet corn
• Pineapples
• Avocado
• Asparagus
• Sweet peas
• Mangoes
• Eggplant
• Cantaloupe (domestic)
• Kiwi
• Cabbage
• Watermelon
• Sweet potatoes
• Grapefruit
• Mushrooms

 When you think of what average Americans eat, a move to increase the amount of fresh food in the diet is going to be extremely beneficial health wise. Eating organic is a personal choice but the benefits are even more far-reaching than just decreasing the pesticides/toxins that you are putting into your body. This link at MayoClinic.com has the basics laid out nicely for you.

When you are going through treatment for cancer, eating raw fruits or vegetables may not be an option for you. Chemotherapy can also leave things tasting very different, even metallic-like. Sometimes using citrus can help with the flavor and you can cook veggies and still get the nutrients you need. Fruits can also be stewed or prepared so you do not have to eat them raw.

Until next time...Viva la veggies!

IBC...What is it?

There are different types of breast cancer. One type of particularly aggressive breast cancer is Inflammatory Breast Cancer (IBC). IBC does not look like what we think breast cancer should look like. IBC does not present itself as a lump and its symptoms tend to grow quickly, often mistaken for an infection like mastitis. Even worse, IBC is usually not detected on mammograms or ultrasounds.

Now are you paying attention?

At Michelle's Place, we had the pleasure of hosting an Educational Seminar on IBC by IBC Survivor Kommah "Koko" McDowell of the Kommah Seray Inflammatory Breast Cancer Foundation. She really spells it clearly and helps us understand what we need to know about IBC in this video.


Inflammatory Breast Cancer by michellesplace

We have other online Educational Seminars available for viewing.

Knowledge is power. Be informed. Be your own health advocate.

Beyond Breast Cancer Treatment...I am home from chemo, now what?

Yesterday at Michelle's Place, we had the pleasure of hosting a Breast Cancer Educational Seminar on Why Exercise & Nutrition are Key for Recovery. Anneke Marvin, Trainer and Owner of CrossFit Temecula South, where they train everyone from professional athletes to individuals with severe injuries and physical limitations discussed the physical effects of chemo and radiation and how exercise and nutrition are a key to recovering from breast cancer and having a solid quality of life going forward. I asked Anneke for her top 3 tips and she gave me GOLD! Thank you, Anneke!!!

Anneke's Top 3 Tips for Women Going Through Breast Cancer Treatment

1. Cut out as much sugar from your diet as possible. This includes processed foods, grain, and dairy. Cancer cells love sugar so don't give them any!

2. Sleep! Sleep enough and sleep enough consistently. Many studies show that sleep disturbances and/or inadequate sleep raise systemic stress which in turn increases your risk of cancer forming or returning.

3. Keep stress low. I know that we can't eliminate ALL stress but control the things one can. Learn to say "no." Meditation, yoga, and exercise are all good stress reducers. 

Healthy Steps class at Michelle's Place

Beyond these tips, I hope at least one person learns from this that trainers are out there to help you during treatment and beyond. You do not have to be getting "bikini ready" to hit the gym. It is about building and maintaining strength...doing what you can and feeling the best you can. Mentally, you can feel more in control of your journey through breast cancer. 

At Michelle's Place, we offer Healthy Steps classes twice weekly. This class is a series of gentle dance-like movements to done to music. Learn more including the benefits of Healthy Steps.

It is about balance. Taking care of the whole person. Listen to your body. 

Be your own health advocate.

Reality Rally

Along the journey, we get the honor of meeting people who give of themselves to help others. Today people from all over are in Temecula to be a part of an event that was sparked on the beaches of Gabon. When this Survivor contestant heard "Gillian, the tribe has spoken," she took her lot in
life seriously. This adventurous grandmother born and raised in South Africa who makes her home in Temecula knew she would do something with her 15 minutes and she has. Gillian Larson has realized her dream - Reality Rally. A weekend achock full of events all in the name of "Fun for Funds." Michelle's Place is honored to be the beneficiary of this spectacular event that has something for everyone.
With over 80 Reality Stars representing 27 shows, a golf tournament, 3 parties, 2 after parties, Surf Dogs, a Chopper Dog and 31 FREE things to do...oh, and did I mention there is a game called Reality Rally? It is easy to see that this weekend is an incredible undertaking.

 

Let the journey begin!

In our 10+ years of service, Michelle's Place Breast Cancer Center has evolved into more than we ever thought possible when we came together to start this organization. We are working to get more information to you than ever before. As Michelle's sister-in-law, I am so excited to be starting this blog. I want to share resources, helpful information, stories from breast cancer survivors and more. I welcome your comments and questions and would love to know what you are thinking about breast cancer support and services that we provide or that you see elsewhere. My vision is that this truly becomes what I named it...a Pink Ribbon Network.

For those of you that are not familiar with how Michelle's Place started, read Michelle's story and view our founders video below.

Michelle's Place wouldn't be what it is today without massive, unrelenting support from our community for which we are forever grateful. Now my goal is to broaden our scope and open that up even further...breast cancer impacts every part of our lives and it isn't over when treatment is over. Knowledge is power and information is at the heart of knowledge so we will start there. Our website has online resources available to you even if you are not local to Temecula Valley. Only great things can come from sharing...so let the journey begin.

"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has."

~Margaret Mead

Thank you for sharing this journey with me.


Amy Watson
Michelle's Sister-in-Law