Your Wife Has Breast Cancer and Your Powers have been Rendered Useless

I am going to apologize up front for offending anyone with the generalizations I apply in this post. I do so with the best of intentions. Obviously, there are always exceptions.

Men are from Mars. Women are from Venus.
This concept is crucial when you consider how a man feels when his significant other has been diagnosed with breast cancer. Often we focus on the woman and how she is feeling but the husband deserves some attention too. The journey can be long and men are typically not the primary focus when their partner is faced with a breast cancer diagnosis.  However, understanding their coping mechanisms and getting them the type of support they need is critical.

At Michelle's Place Breast Cancer Resource Center, we have never had success in establishing an ongoing husbands/partners support group. This is not surprising because most men do not want to sit and discuss their problems, especially with people that they do not know well. Many men say it makes them feel worse to discuss their problems and prefer to focus on actions to improve the situation or cope by participating in activities that will distract them such as exercising or spending time with friends.

It seems to be the feeling of powerlessness that is the hardest for men. Many men cope by taking control of a challenging situation and focusing on a plan of action. It is truly a struggle to stand by and watch as their wife endures painful treatments and then have to deal with unknowns. All the while, their lives are turned upside down with changes in daily work life and household responsibilities. Add to this worries about children and changes in their relationships with their wives. Since most men like to fix problems, it is not surprising they rate their spouses cancer diagnosis as the worst thing that can ever happen to them - worse even than being diagnosed with cancer themselves.

If you know a man that is in this situation, I want to introduce you to a man that I admire and I only know him through his book. Mike Stalter has written a book called Still Have Faith. He wrote this book about about his experience with his wife's 17½-year battle with breast cancer. I admire Mike because he took the time to write this book with honesty. He does not romanticize the situation and turn it into a "made for tv" movie. He is candid...he readily admits he feels he could have done more. I am not going to spoil it for you though. I do recommend this book and I am donating 2 copies to our Michelle's Place library in hopes that it will help spouses/partners of our clients.

You can purchase the book on Mike's website at www.stillhavefaith.com or you can purchase the Kindle edition on Amazon. You can find him on Facebook too.

 

Announcing our Metastatic Breast Cancer Self Help Group

At Michelle's Place Breast Cancer Resource Center, it is a large part of our mission to provide emotional support to those with breast cancer.  Even if you are blessed with a personal support network (family, friends, church, coworkers, etc.), a breast cancer patient can still feel the need to connect with others going through similar experiences.
We offer support groups for women, Spanish-speaking women and their families and for children. This month we are adding a new group.

Metastatic breast disease is breast cancer that has not just come back, but has made its way through the bloodstream and spread to other organs of the body, such as the bones, liver, or brain. Cancer spread may be present at first diagnosis or after recurrence. Many women can live for years with metastatic cancer that is under control. For these women, living with a diagnosis of metastatic breast cancer is like living with a chronic disease. However, their needs are much different than those of a woman recently diagnosed or her cancer is isolated to the breast.

Michelle’s Place is thrilled to announce the addition of a new support group specifically for these women.  Rachel Mason,  M.S., M.A., Director of Community Relations at Delta Hospice of Inland Valley has graciously agreed to facilitate this new group.  Rachel is a certified mental health professional, she has worked in the Hospice industry for the last 15 years and currently serves on the Michelle’s Place Advisory Board.  The Michelle’s Place Metastatic Breast Cancer Self Help Group will meet the 4th Wednesday of each month at 5:30pm at Michelle’s Place.  For more information visit www.michellesplace.org, email info@michellesplace.org or call 951-699-5455.

See our complete support group schedule.
Learn more about our Spanish-support group or Kids Konnected.

At Michelle's Place, we believe no woman should face breast cancer alone.

Somewhere Over the Rainbow

Just a quick post from my family vacation here on The Big Island of Hawaii ...
I LOVE Hawaii.
I love its beauty, history, culture and people. I especially love the sense of community you find everywhere you go. The spirit of Aloha and respect for faith, family and the land are values we get to experience simultaneously firsthand in the islands.
I am posting a photo of our 3 children who never got to meet their Aunt Michelle, the lady behind Michelle's Place, because we lost her way too early to breast cancer. Now her spirit helps women and their families as they battle breast cancer. 
Bill & Marilyn Watson, my children's grandparents and Michelle's parents, are also in the photo. They founded Michelle's Place during a time when they could have easily succumbed to the grief of losing their youngest daughter at 26 years old.
The other gentleman is my children's other grandfather, Carl Grassi, Jr., my dad. We lost my mom less than four months ago to MDS turned Leukemia brought on by chemotherapy from breast cancer.  I am so glad he joined us for this vacation.  He has been through so much for the past several years.
I am so glad they all found a rainbow together...they are my pot of gold.
Aloha.
Learn more about Michelle's Place at www.michellesplace.org

Thank you, Cathy & Bridget Regan

I want to use this post to share with you an email that we received this week. Bridget Regan did an admirable thing...she raised money to help women detect breast cancer early. Yes, people do that every day. As Michelle's sister-in-law who has watched Michelle's Place grow from Michelle's original idea as we brainstormed on her futon, I think it is pretty darn special when someone with the power of celebrity status takes the time to support us and propel us even further with not only money but exposure. Follow Bridget on Twitter at www.twitter.com/BridgetRegan

THANK YOU, Cathy and Bridget for your support. We are humbled and grateful. We appreciate your donation and helping us spread the word about Michelle's Place and our mission. We cannot wait to meet you!

Thank you, Dr. Rose! We appreciate your recommendation and your continued support.

Here is Cathy's email:

My name is Cathy Regan and in March 2012 I was diagnosed with stage 1
breast cancer, found through a routine mammogram. I feel so fortunate that
my cancer was caught at an early stage. My treatment was six weeks of
radiation and no chemo.

My daughter, Bridget Regan, is a television actress. She wanted to raise
some money to help other women detect their cancer early like I did. So
she decided to auction an item from her television series LEGEND OF THE
SEEKER on ebay. She raised nearly $2000 which she has sent Michelle'sPlace.

Bridget wanted me to choose the charity. My radiation oncologist, Dr. Mary Anne Rose, told me about Michelle's Place. After looking over your website
and reviewing your programs I chose Michelle's Place. I was very moved by
Michelle's story, the dedication of her parents and family, and the help
you are offering women with cancer and their families.

I live in Carlsbad and someday hope to head on up to Temecula to meet some
of the wonderful people at Michelle's Place . Thank you for all you do and
know my daughter's donation will be put to great use.

Sincerely,
Cathy Regan

Recipe: Delectable Onion Dip

At Michelle's Place, we schedule Educational Seminars throughout the year that are open to all and FREE. If you are local to the Temecula area (in California), watch our calendar of events. If not, we have an online video series of Educational Seminars for everyone.

Is there a better time for eating fresh food grown locally, even from your own garden, than summer? With the 4th of July just 2 days away, I have a delectable Onion Dip recipe with you that Tina and Shari from Crows Pass Farm shared with us at Michelle's Place. We were licking the sample cups clean!

Note: I know not everyone has access to Temecula Cane Onions so I tried green onions and this was tasty too!

Onion Dip
1 Cup Non-fat, Plain Greek style yogurt
1 bunch "Temecula Cane Onion"
½ Lemon
Salt to taste
Pepper (Regular or I like to use the smoked pepper from Old Town Spice Merchant)


Cut onions and sauté until soft and beginning to carmelize.
Juice the lemon and finely chop the lemon peel, add chopped lemon peel to the onions to cook a little.
Season with salt to taste.
Take off heat and let cool.
Put yogurt into a bowl; add juice of  ½ lemon, the cooked onions and lemon peel.
Pepper to taste.
You can also add some fresh chopped onions to add more flavor.
This recipe is flexible so adjust to your taste!

Happy 4th of July and Happy Birthday, America!!

Perception is Everything.

This week I (Michelle's Place on Twitter) received a tweet that read "what about pancreatic? We've nailed breast?"
This stopped me in my tracks. Do people really believe we have nailed breast cancer? Does the statistic of approximately 90% chance of 5-year survival when diagnosed in the early stages imply that we have it under control and there is no reason to worry?
I don't think so.

According to the American Cancer Society, your relative survival rate decreases if you are diagnosed with breast cancer before the age of 40. Yes, it drops to 84%.
If you do not catch breast cancer early which can happen easily in today's down economy when not everyone is insured and can easily get the diagnostics they need, 5-year relative survival is 23% for distant stage disease and tumor size plays a part in this too. (Source: ACS Breast Cancer Facts & Figures 2011-2012)
And remember, just a few weeks ago...Robin Roberts, announced she has a blood disorder called MDS,  myelodysplastic syndrome (preleukemia), resulting from chemotherapy from her breast cancer over 5 years ago. Here she was on a journey that had her believing she was cancer free and now she is facing more excruciating treatments. I lost my mother to Leukemia that started as MDS resulting from chemotherapy in March of this year and her doctors told her she was going to beat it too.  I want Robin Roberts to beat MDS because no one should have lose this battle. Ideally, no one should have to face this battle. I still have a lot of questions about the long-term consequences of the breast cancer treatments we are using and where that leaves women 5-10 years down the road. Especially if younger women are dealing with more aggressive breast cancers and chemotherapy gets stronger and more aggressive.
So have we really nailed breast cancer? My answer is no.

The statistics show we are heading in the right direction. Death rates have been decreasing since 1990 especially in younger women which means we are getting the education out there for early detection. We need to make sure women understand that just because breast cancer does not run in your family does not mean you are off the hook. 85% of breast cancers occur in women with no family history. My sister-in-law, Michelle, who we lost at age 26 had no family history. Educating the community is a large part of what we do at Michelle's Place. However, as long as we are seeing women walking through our doors misdiagnosed, the battle will be far from over. Get educated, ask questions, and be your own health advocate!
Are we fighting the battle like true warriors? Yes.
How are you waging war against breast cancer?

Nutrition: The Nuts & Bolts of Eating Fresh Part 2

Hopefully since my last post, you have had a chance to integrate some new "Eating Fresh" habits into your life that are lasting. I find it so easy to do at this time of year as the weather gets warmer.

Now I want to dig deeper (ha, pun intended) into what can affect the nutritional value of your food. Since our stomachs have limited space, we want to put the most nutrient-dense food in our mouths, right? The first thing to consider is the growing conditions. Now, I know what you are thinking..."Seriously? I am standing there buying my veggies. How can I possibly know about the dirt it is was grown in."  And I am saying yes, you can can get to know your farmer. The soil can greatly impact the nutritional value of your food - it needs to be prepared and maintained to provide the highest nutrients to the soil-grown food.  Think about us...we need vitamins and minerals to keep our bodies in good working order to be able to fight off disease. Plants need nutrients to be able to fight off predators and disease and they get the nutrients from the soil. Then they pass the nutrients to us when we eat them.

The next thing to consider is plant variety. This one blew me away when Tina from Crows Pass Farm came to Michelle's Place and explained it using strawberries. Who hasn't ooooh'd and aaaaahhh'd over a ginormous strawberry? Well, I won't be doing that anymore after learning from a real farmer. The plants that produce fewer, smaller, brightly colored fruits and veggies have higher nutritional value (and they taste WAY better!). Period. End of Story.

Now for storage...this is complex because storage not only has a huge impact on nutritional value but there are many different types of storage to consider (dried, stored, frozen, canned). If you want the highest nutritional value possible, go for local-grown fresh fruits and vegetables. Once the food is picked, the nutritional values start declining rapidly so eat and pick is best.

There is a lot of debate centered around raw food vs. cooked food. The link provided has good  information about this topic.

The way you choose to cook your food will also play a big part in how your food retains its nutritional value. Lightly cooking your organic fruits and vegetables can not only retain but increase antioxidant and nutritional values.


I did not make all of this up...my source is healthy-food-site.com

Bon appetit!